Summary of Max Schulman's "Love Is A Fallacy"

I was a logical, keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute, and astute student in our university. Though I was just so young just at the age of eighteen and yet my brain was as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as a chemist's scales, as penetrating as a scalpel.
I have this roommate in our university named Petey Bellows. We have the same age, same background, but he is dumb as an ok. Yes! He is a nice enough fellow, an emotional type of person, unstable, impressionable and worst of all a faddist.
One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I suspected him that he has been suffering from appendicitis. But when I consulted him he just mumbled thickly that he wanted a raccoon coat. "Raccoon coat?", I asked myself. And I was curious on why does he wants a raccoon coat. And his reason was "All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them". He is so desperate of having one for him to be in the group. He somehow envies the popular men in the campus and that he wanted to be accepted in their group too by blending with them through wearing the coat these popular men are also wearing. Though I tried to stop him from his being desperate of having one, like giving him some characteristics that a raccoon coat has which I thought could discourage him from having it. But still I can't do anything. And instead he told me that he is willing to do everything just to be able to have one.
As far as I have remembered, my father had one of this raccoon coat in his undergraduate days. It was placed in the attic back home. And then so right is the time that Petey had what I "wanted". What I "wanted" refers to a person, a girl named Polly Espy. They are so close to each other and which I can say that Petey is more righteous to her. And that I wanted her to be mine. Actually Polly is beautiful. She was not yet of pin-up proportions, she already had the makings, was gracious of which I mean that she is full of graces, had an erectness of carraige, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding and her table manners were exquisite. Not mentioning that she was not intelligent. And I though that through my guidance she would become intelligent.
I gave the raccoon coat to Petey and our deal that I would be dating with Polly for several nights and make her fall for me was "on". The following night I had my first date with Polly. I first taught her some fallacies of logic. "Logic was a science of thinking", I explained to her. Continuing our conversation I discussed her the first fallacy of logic which is the Dicto Simpliciter, which means that means an argument based on an unqualified generalization, then I cited her some examples that best expalins the fallacy. Then afterwhcih we took up the next fallacy called Hasty Generalization, then after sicussing several examples we then move on to Post Hoc and to the last topic of that night's conversation was the Contradictory Premises. She did enjoy the conversation and still wanted more. But as I can see my watch that it is already time for us to go home.
But the following night of our date, I continued teaching her the fallacies of logic, the Ad Misericordiam, False Analogy, Hypothesis Contrary to Fact and Poisoning the Well and just like the first night we discussed the fallacies of logic I also expalined to her some examples of the following fallacies. After I have discussed to her evrything I thought to myself that she is already perfect and is fitted already to become my wife. Then I told her that if we could be together and that if she wanted to be my wife because I think that she perfectly fits me fo having spent her five nights of discussion and I think that she is already intelligent enough to be mine. But instead she argued and answer me back with the fallacies of logic I taught her in evry situation and question I asked her. And though I tried my best to have her. Still she turned away from me and that the end Polly went to Petey and they became together for her reason that Petey had a raccoon coat.